Twilight Princess truth or dare
by ToonLink13
Summary: If you review this you can have twilight princess characters do a dare or answer a question. First fic no flames! mostly LinkXMidna.
1. prouloge

Twilight Princess:Truth or dare.

Hello everyone! if you are reading this than you have stumbled upon the Twilight princess Truth or Dare where you, thats right you the reviewer gets to ask the main TP characters a question or have them do something you want!

But please keep the dares T or under. ask as many questions or submit as many dares as you wish, but I may not have enough time to answer as many questions or make the characters do dares and save them till next chapter.

This is ToonLink13 signing off.


	2. Chapter 1

I don't own the Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess or anything. please support the official release.

Me: Welcome all to the Twilight Princess truth or dare, with your host me, ToonLink13!

Today, our first truths and dares come from deaddaleta.

Link: Who did he dare?

Me: The first one is you. He writes, I dare Link to shave his hair as a wolf and dance to in a tutu to balalaika with makeup and Midna watching.

Link: No.

Me: Midna, please make him as a wolf. (Midna is in her normal form because my mom doesn't like her smile.)

Midna: On it. (She's blushing.)

Me: Who's gonna shave him? (Everyone looks at me.)... Ok, fine I'll do it.

Wolf Link: NOOOOO! AGGGH! THATS MY TAIL YOU FUCKER! ( Link can speak human cause Midna put a spell on him.)

Me: STOP SQUIRMING! IF YOU KEEP SQUIRMING I MIGHT CUT YOU WITH THE (cut some skin. My lamp shatters cause link kicked the drawer.)

Wolf Link: OWWWWWWWW! YOU CUT MY BACK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

Me: Your own fault. What sha-... YOU BROKE MY LAMP YOU SON OF A BITCH! ILIA! Bandage Link while I fix my lamp.

Ilia: I'm done.

Me: And now for the makeup and tutu. Ladies, if you will. ( Link is ready and dances like a moron.) While Link does that lets see what else we have. Midna, you have a truth. deaddaleta says, Midna, why the HELL do you look so freakin' hylian? I mean, the other

people look so creepy! Even as an IMP you looked better than them! Not that

you were ugly or anything, just, well, different, in a not-normal kinda weird

sorta way. And kinda scary when you smile. And... was breaking the mirror just

an excuse to get away from Link?

Midna: The first one is easy. The royal family of the twilight realm is a different bloodline and the others species of twili thought my family would be fit as rulers. The second one is because though I love Link he and I are from two different worlds. He was a ranch hand and I was the ruler of a world. But cause I'm here, me and Link can be together.

Me: Thats so (sniffs teary eyed) beautiful. And because I'm that nice I'll have Ilia go next.

Ilia: What is it?

Me: He wrote, Dare: I dare Ilia to kill an animal, cook it, and eat it. She'll probably be

sobbing the whole time. I'll get my portable grill.

Ilia: What? But I love life.

Me: Sucks to be you. Here's a squirrel and my grill. Start cookin.

(Ilia crying and making the grill sizzle.)

Me: He was right, She is crying. Next deaddaleta writes, I dare Midna to confess that she's totally into bestiality, and wear as many wolf articals as you can find. We have Links fur and i have a wolf pelt somewhere, one minute. Here we are! ( Its bare so i cover it with Links fur.) Now we need you to confess.

Midna: I'm... I'm totally into bestiality. (She's crying)

Me: Now for the final dare that deaddaleta has is for the girl that gives the game its name even though people do the sh%t for her, Zelda! Here's the Dare: I dare Zelda to dress up as a country bumpkin. And talk like one. And eat worms. Hehe, lol. Heres some overalls and a straw hat. bathrooms down the hall to your right. (She comes back in the overalls, a shirt and straw hat, and black marker on her tooth.)

Zelda: Why do I listen to yer words of stupidity. (Western accent.)

Everyone: ... ! THATS HILARIOUS! (Calms down.)

Me: Oh! We have another truth for Midna. Its from Kiba Wolf and she asks what were you going to say before you broke the mirror Miss "Link-I-See-You-Later". Thats a good question.

Midna: I was gonna explain... um..I mean I was gonna say I hate him still! Yeah thats it!

(Everyone makes a skeptic look at Midna.)

Midna: Fine... I was gonna explain that I love him.

Everyone:!

Me: I always thought there was something between you two.

Other girls: FUCK OFF BITCH HE'S OURS!

Midna: SCREW YOU ALL! HE'S MINE!

Me: Hey now, Ladies! Lets not be hasty! Your in my room you know that right?

Ladies: (look at me and then hit me all at once) FUCK OFF!

Me: THATS IT! GUYS GET OUT, CAUSE IN A FEW SECONDS THIS ROOM WILL BE COVERED IN BLOOD!

(guys look at me and then run off like cowards)

Me: As for everyone reading this, I say good bye. Till next time.


	3. Chapter 2

I don't own the Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess or anything. please support the official release.

(Everybody looks beaten and broken but Me, Link, Midna, Zelda, and Gannondorf.)

Gannondorf: Remind me why we are fine and they are broken and bloody.

Me: Because I used my authour powers and your Triforce piece to make a magic force field to protect us while to other girls in the Zelda franchise fought.

Gannondorf: Oh... Cool. How powerful are your author powers?

Me: I make The Beast from Infamous 2 look like a harmless ant, and compared to me you are a worm in my moms garden. Enough questions on how powerful I am, let the chapter begin. This reviw is from Gothicwings94 and she writes truths:Ganondorf: Haven't you learned yet you can't beat Link. I mean how many times in your past lifes did he serve you your but on a silver plater? Link: whats it like turning into a wolf, does it hurt? Ganondorf: Where are the rest of the Gerudo race? Zelda: Do you like Link?Midna: Same question! Dares: Link and Zelda have to go into the closet for 7 minutes! Ganondorf has to admit to Link that Link is 10x better then he can kick his butt everytime! Midna: I want you to ride link like you would normally if he was in wolf form for a full minute. Thats quite a mouthful. GANNONDORF!

Gannondorf: WHAT!

Me: Your up. First your truth, then dare.

Gannondorf: Well, the reason I keep trying is because I was taught to never give up. As for my people, They died out cause I was not there to impregnate them cause I was sealed away by that Hero of Time jackass. And as for the dare... I'm not doing it.

Me: Do it or (in demonic voice) YOU SHALL PERISH IN HELL FIRE MORTAL!

Gannondorf: (in scared voice) Okay. Link, I think you are 10x better than me and that you can kick my butt every time.

Link: Cool. Now what's next?

Me: You have a question. Read your part of the review.

Link: ... To answer your question, to be a wolf is like being me,but smaller and on 4 legs. It does not hurt, but when Midna lands on my back it causes me pain. (He and Zelda stay in closet while I hold a stopwatch) 7 MIN LATER

Midna: Sorry. And yes, I do like Link. (Transforms to imp self and Link runs through town)

Me: COME BACK WHEN I CALL YOU GUYS! Zelda, answer your question.

Zelda: I like Link as a friend and nothing more.

Me: I have made some dares for you as well. LINK, MIDNA, GET BACK HERE! Here are my dares Zelda: Help Link with his wedding. Link: Have a wedding with Midna and admit your feelings for Zelda. Ilia: Since I hate you, go fight the temple bosses with only a hammer. if you die I will revive you. Midna: Before the wedding help Link fight the Wind Waker Gannondorf. And if you defeat him you and Link can go anywhere for your honeymoon and I'll pay all expenses.

Link: Okay. I hate Zelda. My ancestors have saved her family for generations and all we get is a pat on the back and a escort home.

Ilia: Why me?

Me: Because I hate you. Your like Zelda, your usless the entire game.

Zelda: Fine. Link, here is a weding planner. It has a list for things you want at the wedding, and a list for Midna too. Have a good fight.

Midna: Question? Can I use magic?

Me: Sure, why not.

(3 Hours later.)

Ilia: Hate... you... so much.

Me: Right back at you lazy ass. We have more dares and truthes for you from Megasaurus the Dinosaur and they write Truths: Midna, what were you going to say to Link before you broke the mirror? Zelda: Why is it that the game is named after you, yet you're almost utterly

helpless throughout it? Dares: Link fight Ganandorf without a sword.

Midna: If you want to find out what I said see the last chapter.

Zelda: What do you expect? I'm a princess with no strength, no power except my Triforce piece.

Me: THATS NO EXCUSE!

Link: Oh crap! (He hits Gannondorf with one hit to the forehead and wins.) oh... I rule!

Me: Thats all the time we have for this chapter. Wedding for Midna and Link next chapter.

Midna and Link: WHAT!

Me: Oh crap! SEND MORE REVIEWS PLEASE!


	4. Chapter 3

(AN/ Sorry I haven't updated in the past year, my family has been going through troubles.)

(As the scene opens we see an altar used for wedding ceremonies. Beside it is Link in a tuxedo, Ganondorf in his usual attire with a bow tie, and I wear dress pants, a button down shirt, and wielding a sword on my belt. Zelda and the girls are wearing dresses that have their favorite colors, and Midna is in a wedding gown. Midna walks down the aisle while Cherry Blossoms fall from the trees, and I pull a book and note cards from my pockets. While Link and Midna stand across from each other smiling, I open the book on the altar. Before the ceremony begins it's interrupted.)

Ilia: I OBJE-!

Me: Not their yet stupid.

Ilia: Oh. Sorry.[Sits by Zelda.]

Me:... Anyway, we are gathered here today to unite this couple in holy matrimony, and to answer questions and dares from the reviewers of this story. Do you, Link, take Midna to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health till death do you part?

Link: I do.

Me: And Midna, same question but wife instead of husband?

Midna: I do.

Me: Does anybody object to these two being married?

Ilia: I object to this marriage!

Me:And why should I listen to you, miss useless? Oh wait, I shouldn't! I now pronounce you husband and wife! [Turn to Link] You may kiss the bride.

(As they kiss, everyone stands and claps for them except for Ilia.)

Me: Ilia your dare is first, from Jinso Kitsune-kun. This review state that you need to star in an episode of Jackass. Awesome! Now which stunt to put you through... oh, I KNOW!

[Ilia is pushed into and strapped into a porta-potty thats attached to a giant slingshot.]

Johnny Knoxville: I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is the Shit-Shot!

[ Ilia is then shot forward and flies forward as crap and piss fly all over her. Eventually the camera is so covered in crap we can't see her]

Me: Since no one cares about Ilia, lets move on. Ganondorf, Jinso has a couple of questions for you. Question 1: How did you get a bunch of dark powers sometime between Ocarina of Time and Twilight Princess? Question 2: How the hell is Link pulling out a fishing rod in the middle of a fight to the death distracting?

Ganondorf: Well, due to the fact that me and my ancestors carried the Triforce of Power, their powers went to me seeing as I was the last Gerudo. As for the fishing rod, it just confused me as to why he had it out.

Me: Ok, next is Zelda with a question saying why is it in SSBB you have cool abilities but in your games you suck?

Zelda: When SSBB came out I grabbed my Bow of Light,which helped and since I was actually supposed to fight used every spell I had and since when I changed to Sheik I had ninja weapons i could do more then in my kingdom, where i have to negotiate and be proper.

Me: I see, the problems of being a ruler. Also, go have a bar fight in a all girl bar.{Zelda walks off}

Link, you have 2 questions and a dare. One, why do you not wear pants? And what was it like being in the Twilight Realm?

Link: I'M WEARING TIGHTS! THOSE COUNT AS PANTS IN MY TIME! And, each of my ancestors wore the hero's tunic with honor. As for being in the Twilight Realm, its like being in Hyrule but more magic and less sunlight.

Me: ... It seems that the whole pants subject is kinda , Midna Jinso has a question for you. Why didn't you try to break the curse Zant put on you while Link was trying to save Hyrule?

Midna: Well, at the time I thought that Hyrule had no Mages or Wizards, and the ones that were there were evil, so I just stuck with Link.

Me: Nice answer. Now, all but Ilia can have cake! [Cuts wedding cake and hands everybody a slice as Zelda walks back from bar fight.] What happened their? You need some bandages, or a red potion?

Zelda: Malon decided to pull out a sword in the middle of it. It seems that she had training with swords.

Me: Ouch. Anyway, Jinso has a dare for Ganondorf. Jinso says to put on a dress and fairy wings, and to sing the lumberjack song from a Monty Python movie. One second{Teleport to costume store, grabs fair dress and gives to Ganondorf.} Start singing or it's the fangirl pit for you.

Ganondorf:... I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I work all night and I sleep all day. [starts messing up lyrics.]

Me: For your terrible singing, i send you to the Fangirl Pit!

[I pick up Ganondorf and throw him in while fangirls tear him apart]

Me:...One sec[Goes to Hell and grabs Ganondorf to take him back to wedding.] Better?

Ganondorf: Being here is way better than hell!

Me: Anyway, Link and Midna! I have booked you guys a private island for a week! Part of it is for a Honeymoon, another is for a dare.

Midna: Why is it on this day, we have to do a dare for you?

Me:... If you let me finish, as I was saying it is for a dare but Since its your wedding I'm being nice and letting you not do it. Right now I need to head to Gamestop.

Link: Why?

Me: You don't know?! The greatest Marvel anti-hero got his own videogame!

Everyone:... Who?

(As I'm about to answer a Katana stabs through me! I fall to the ground and out from the shadows comes..)

?: Oh, can I say it?

Me: No!

?: Pleeeeease!

Me: Fine! And if you readers can't tell who it is then pay attention!

?: I'm the mask for your task, the Merc with the Mouth, that guy who won't die..(Confetti and banner pop out as a spotlight shines on him) DEADPOOL!

(I start getting up) You know, it would be nice if every time you come by I wouldn't need to sew or buy a new shirt!

Deadpool: Yeah, well what fun would that be? Anyway I'm here because you need a copy of my game! To Gamestop!

(Trumpet symphony!)

[A/N Again, sorry ive been gone so long but my family and i have been going through money problems so heres the new chapter! Also downed the rating to T because i felt that since its my first fic i would use a lesser rating! ToonLink13 Signing out! Jackpot!


	5. Chapter 4

**(A/N I'm considering putting Deadpool as a technical co-host to this, please PM or review if you agree.)****(Yeah! We don't have a lot of things to do!) ****(Additional, Navi the fairy is my assistant in this chapter)**

Me: Hello everybody! Today we have a new batch of dares and truths so lets get the ball rolling!

[Clears throat and grabs megaphone] ILIA!

Ilia: WHAT!

Me: You have a truth from TheKingdomHeartsCraz asking how many times did you try and fight the bosses with a hammer?

Ilia: I fought Ghoma in the Great Deku Tree, and to get her off the roof I threw the hammer. Then I fought a giant bird on a tall tower somewhere in the sea. then it was a big dragon on a really open area.

Me: That was the Helmaroc King. DEADPOOL, I have a job for you! Well... more along the lines of a contract to kill.

Deadpool: oooo! Who is it? Is it the blue light bulb you have get you coffee and run errands or the is it the guy with red hair and skin like an overcooked campfire marshmallow?

Me: Nope its [Whispering in ear]... Okay? Navi, Make me a frappuccino and get Deadpool 50 grand.

Deadpool: [gets in sliding pose while grabbing katana] YES, IT'S CUTTIN TIME! SLASH, SLASH AND CROSSCUT! You just been Deadpooled!

[Ilia stays still as Deadpool slashes and slides through her.]

Ilia: Hah! That did noth- [Deadpool sheaths his katanas and Ilia falls apart in small pieces]

Me: You were saying? Anyway, DEADPOOL! Set up a video call with link while I do another dare. Zelda, you have a dare from a Zelda-serene-moon that says for you to kiss Ganondorf. Pucker up.

Zelda: NO! I won't kiss that bastard! He destroyed my kingdom and caused my ancestors pain.

Me: True, but I'm basically able to make you either do it or get killed in the most gruesome ways. Example, Shredder! Come 'ere boy!

[a brawler crashes through the wall. Incase you dont know what a brawler is, the brawler is a creature you fight or call in prototype 2.]

Zelda: ... Ganondorf. Come here. PLEASE!

Ganondorf: What? [Zelda pulls him into a kiss]

Me: Ok Zelda, you can stop. Shredder, sit! Roll over! Good boy, here's a treat! [toss squirrel in his mouth and send him off.]

Deadpool: How did you get that thing as a pet? Also, Link and Midna are on the video call.

Me: Another time (Navi brings in my Frappuccino and Deadpools money.) Good work you two. Link, Midna, you got truths and dares.

Link: What? But were on our honeymoon!

Me: Tuff shit. Link, look in your suitcase and you'll find a shotgun. Epona is outside the hotel, so you go shoot her.

Link: Why! She has been there for me since I was a kid!

Me Cause Ganon-Lover said to. Now do it or Deadpool gets a new contract!

[Link walks out to the front of the hotel, shotgun in hand. as he gets to Epona, he apologizes for what he's about to do. He steadies his hands, aims, then pulls the trigger as pellets fly and Epona's body becomes lifeless.]

Link: Happy!?

Me: No, but not like it matters what I think. Also put on a tutu and dance to the song known as Sugar Plum Fairy, and say that Ganondorf is 1000000000 times better than you.

Link: Problem with that, I don't have a tutu and you can't give me one since i'm not there. HA!

Me: Deadpool! Get the teleporter warmed up and Navi, get me Shaundi on the phone.

Navi: HEY! She wants to know why you're calling at 3:30 in the morning.

Me: Hand me the phone. (Navi hands phone) Hey Shaundi, It's Toon.

Shaundi: What do you want!? Its 3:30 in the fucking morning!

Me: I need the tutu you had when you got high 2 years ago.

Shaundi: ...How do you know about that?!

Me: You talk in your sleep. And Pierce told me.

Shaundi: Dammit! Fine, one minute. (Portal opens) Here!

Me: THank you, bye! Deadpool, is the teleporter ready?

Deadpool: Yep.

Me: Link, heres a tutu. (toss into teleporter.)

Link: I think Ganondorf is 1000000000 better than me. (tries to dance to the music but ends up falling out a window.)

Me: Well that sucked...alot. Well thats all for today, remember to Review or PM me for a dare or truth and if you want deadpool on this more or other Zelda characters. ToonLink13 is out!


End file.
